I’ve never had a Facebook account or any other social media. I know they keep shadow profiles, but I’ve never given permission. I never had any interest and frankly still don’t.
The problem I’m having is that I don’t exist online when people try to look me up. When someone tries to check me out, there’s nothing there and apparently that’s considered abnormal these days. I think it’s starting to affect my life negatively for various reasons I’d rather not get into.
I’d just like some advice about where to start if you wanted to dip your toes in and check it out. LinkedIn, maybe?
Don’t.
Thats the only advice you need.
Linkedin is the only social media I would reccomend to put yourself out (as in, put your successful projects in) as it’s used more as a networking tool to land yourself in better jobs.
Fuck other social media. Anonymity is best.
“The problem I’m having is that I don’t exist online when people try to look me up.”
That’s not a problem, that’s a privilege very few people get to enjoy. Fuсk social media and fuсk Facebook in particular.
Yep, that is something I’ve tried to achieve for years… I’m jealous for you OP
I know you’ve probably heard this about a dozen times by now, but…
Don’t join Facebook.
They track everything they can about you, down to how long you spend looking at something on your screen. I’m fairly certain they listen to what’s going on around you if you put the app on your phone. An ad for something I’ve mentioned in passing has popped up on my feed shortly later too many times to be a coincidence.
They follow you around on your browser, too. They know what you shop for. It’s all specially tailored to sell you their ads.
I keep an account to stay in touch with my family, and it’s appalling how much more information they get from you than any other app. Not to mention the heavy prevalence of MAGA hats and I’ll-kill-you-before-I-consider-your-opinion conservatives.
Instagram isn’t much better, but at least the people there are nicer.
It sounds like Facebook tracks non-registered users as well, so everything you’re saying remains true for everyone who doesn’t have a pretty strong security posture.
If OP isn’t blocking third party cookies, FB scripts, and piholing unwanted requests, they might as well join the platform and get the tenuous benefits it provides.
The spying is horrendous. Even after taking so many measures, I still swear I’m eavesdropped occasionally. Ad blockers, private DNS, Firefox containers, GrapheneOS on my phone (I only install messenger, not the Facebook app). I don’t use Facebook on Windows.
I wouldn’t be surprised if other people’s devices are collecting info about me. I have no control over that.
Unfortunately it’s at a point that I won’t get invited to parties without it. It’s how my friends all organise events.
My advice is to cancel joining.
You’re on social media right now, but personally, I don’t care if there’s nothing when people look me up: Seems like a bonus, I barely get spam calls anymore.
Please don’t.
I used to have Facebook. Dabbled with Instagram and Twitter. Don’t use any of them now. Feel 10x better.
My guess is it’s because potential matches ask.
As a woman, I don’t find it weird, but I do find it unfortunate. It’s an easy, quick way to get a better understanding on if you’re who you say you are. Sure, it can be faked, but… that’s more rare, and mostly easily sussed out.
I like seeing Instagram personally. Not to follow, just as a good check. But if you don’t want insta, I’d suggest pixelfed. It’s not a part of meta and it functions as an instagram.
I keep my Linkedin updated, but Linkedin is BS. I hate it. Facebook I only keep for shitposting and because it’s the way my husband’s family keeps in touch (my husband deleted his FB years ago). Facebook is not great. Would not recommend. Honestly, most social media websites are shit and I could not recommend. Lemmy is kind of social media, and this is okay. I liked reddit too, back when I used it.
LinkedIn is pretty good, for finding work. I’ve gotten a lot of offers there. Ultimately never took any of them, ironically, but worth the time to set up a good profile.
If you’re thinking of joining Facebook… Don’t. It’s not worth it. Tell people you have something else and give them that info. Like your phone number or your email or your WhatsApp/telegram/whatever.
I hate how I have Facebook and am so dependent on it. I wish I could tell people I don’t have it.
I’m seconding the “no Facebook” thing, and I’d add “no Meta-Owned anything”. Facebook is constantly showing me conspiracy flat earth shit with people honest to god arguing about it, and everyone in other posts strangely all comment the same thing or early similar things to the point that I’ve checked peoples accounts out to see if they are bots or not. Instagram isn’t much better, and a LOT of it is basically soft-core attention seeking influencers. Threads… Isn’t giving anything better than what Mastodon offers.
I swear. One of these days I will pull the plug.
[Palpatine: Do it.]
I haven’t scrolled Facebook in over a decade I think. But nobody interesting posts on Facebook in my feed so I’m not too bothered. Instagram is good to me. Giving me only like comics and skits and stuff from people I follow, and things similar to what I enjoyed before like certain sports etc. I’d gladly jump Facebook if I could find my friends elsewhere. I wish Messenger wasn’t connected to a Facebook account. 😞
deleted by creator
I’d say if you aren’t on them and don’t need them, there’s no reason to dip your toe in.
It’s okay to be a little weird and save tons of time and not have to read worthless comments.
I was part of the main ones, but got rid of everything, LinkedIn Facebook, all of it. They are useless or detrimental personally, and I don’t need them for my job.
This is the extent of my social media now.
If anyone seriously judged me for not being on a particular website I’d have to consider their competency at managing life.
You can still be subconsciously judged or ignored, though. It’s easy to get left out because you aren’t thought about because you aren’t in a particular group chat, for example.
OP understands the risks, and they’re asking for tips on how to mitigate them if they have to make an account.
A lot of the comments here either missed or intentionally ignored the post body… Or the downvotes on the comment with a personal account saying how single women can feel safer if they can learn about a new person before meeting them.
People have different circumstances and perspectives :)
My advice for the original post:
- Joining: You don’t have to join everything at once, figure out what you might need. This also depends on where you are because different platforms are popular in different places. LinkedIn is one of the few that are helpful in my area.
- You can also start with Fediverse platforms if you prefer, but if you’re trying to connect with specific people that might not help
- An alternative getting your name published on articles or blogs to fill up the search results
- Usage: Do spring cleaning constantly. It’s a big task if you try to clean your feed all at once, and it’ll be easier for you to do it from the start. When you don’t like something/someone, unfollow or mute. You can do it in a way that the other person won’t know, if that’s important. A lot of the problems of social media can be avoided if you maintain your feed.
- I’ll add more if I can think of them, good luck!
I think it can help to have some presence, even if it is to control what information comes up when someone looks you up.
- Joining: You don’t have to join everything at once, figure out what you might need. This also depends on where you are because different platforms are popular in different places. LinkedIn is one of the few that are helpful in my area.
if you have no desire to ‘participate’ on a social media platform, but want people to still be able to ‘google’ you, perhaps a personal web page on your own domain. with a brief bio, your cv, and perhaps some interesting tidbits from hobbies or work projects.
