z500

I think he has a pointy beard and I’ve done something to perplex him

It’s usually fine, but I download new TV shows automatically and I got a .exe instead of the new Frasier. I don’t think I’ll be downloading an actual .exe from TPB in the future lol

I once got passed by two speeding DeLoreans. I ended up catching up to them when we all hit a traffic jam.

You win a free trip to the Hague

I’m already 2 years older than Mozart was when he died, the fuck am I even doing with my life

I can’t wait to hear about the GNU Is Not UNIX Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of Hurd of Hird of

Nice, very trochaic

Pour it on yourself and you’ll never have to work another day in your life

Glory to you… ^AND ^YOUR ^PASSWORD…

“ingenuity is kill”
“no”

And I will see my dream come alive at last

I saw George W. Bush at a grocery store in Kennebunkport yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

Absolutely me:

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chucknorris

But “was killed” is literally a passive construction

Well there goes my dream of quitting my job and living in a towel fort at Bed Bath and Beyond

EINER