Leave 2 of your middle fingers so you can flip off your enemies.

Fuck, how do these plebs keep finding out my scheme.

Damn, these earthlings are getting too intelligent with their knowledge of contract laws.

Am I the only one that kinda hates birthday songs?

Can we start a tradition where we write poems as preparation for the birthday then read it in place of the birthday song?

(Also please do not blow on the cake, so much saliva and germs. I didn’t eat the cake at the last birthday celebration I attended to because I was kinda germaphobic. Oh well, I hope others enjoyed it 🤷‍♂️)

“Yay, they finally allows access to my machine that I bought and paid for… 🫠”

a few minutes later…

“Wait what now? They added WHAT? 😱 (“Copilot” AI 🤮)”

Eventually, they’re gonna make changing the OS illegal and burn in windows into the hardware. Welcome to the world of tomorrow! 🙃

Ah shit, you found the loophole 😁

Completely random. A quantum-dice roll, impossible to predict. If they were already rich, it just means that if they go bankrupt, they still have their safety-net, they just lose all their luxury stuff. But they don’t notice any change if their basic needs are already met.

Losing 10 fingers would guarantee the status effect applied to everyone.

how long is this guaranteed for?

I left the question ambiguous for a reason. I’m glad someone pointed that out. 😉

Yea idk what tools to use so I’m just manually copying the “source” tab of the wikis so that the actual links get copied and not just the fancy hyperlink display text.

Like… its not all on one page, its multiple separate pages, so I have to go to each category to copy it, kinda annoying… 😓

Fry, is that you?

Lol yea that’s definitely getting demonitized. Somebody please download/archive it.

That’s why you vandalize the bathrooms at your workplace (in OP’s case, it’d be the “distribution center”) with pro-union messages 😏

I usually don’t.

Unless its a food delivery, then I just try to find a white male name, to avoid racial profiling/harassment.

I dont think that really do much in terms of privacy, the merchant is gonna know who you are. And sometimes they will reject an order if the name used in the order doesn’t match the name of the card holder.

Any card/bank transaction, anything that gets sent to your address, that’s not really something you can have privacy over. Unless you use cash payments and use someone else’s address. Its very difficult to hide financial activity.

You’ve been banned from lemmygrad.ml

Message from the Admins: “How dare you question our faith in our lord and savior Joseph Stalin?”

Sorry, comrade. One doesn’t simply attend a Comintern meeting without approval.

You must fill out the application and wait to be accepted, that is, if you even qualify.

In Soviet Russia, you do not chose the party, the party choses you!

_/s

“STOP ALT-UNIVERSE INVADERS, BAN LIBRARIES, ILL-LEEEEGALS!”

I mean, they’ll still exist, just be in a universe you can never get back to.

Everyone is still there, you are just suddenly missing (and unbeknownst to them, in a different world)

Lol, they’ll probably think you’re some crazy stalker with a weird fantasy.

I don’t think doordash lets you use a VPN.

Many platforms that deal with finance would reject an order when they detect VPNs or Tor (since that’s what fraudsters and scammers use), or they ask for additional verification (like SMS) to verify you are in fact the account holder. So they probably were just using their real IP address.