14 years ago when I was still relatively young and liked clubbing, a song popped up and swept all the playlists in my country. Clubs, radio stations, you name it. Catchy French song. It came and went so fast that I didn’t manage to memorise it. That was long before I even dreamed of having a smartphone. When I moved to UK a year later, nobody had any idea what song I’m trying to describe, like they never heard it.

Probably around 8 years ago I was roaming the streets of Porto with my ex, and a shop we passed had the song blasting from the speakers. Praise the smartphones, I used ‘what’s the song’ app and et voila: Stromae - alors on danse

I googled Yanni and that’s what I got

I kept going back in confusion. There’s the microwave and sink - no stove or flat-top or anything. There’s the shower. What’s behind the door nº 2? The depth of that space is maybe 70 cm, the standard depth of the kitchen furniture is 60 cm and the shower is a bit deeper, it seems. The width seems about the same. If that’s a toilet, you wouldn’t be able to close the door after yourself. There’s no wardrobe in that room, only that small dresser. If there’s a cupboard, what’s the pooping situation? Waffle stomp day and night? Is that a toilet with a rod for coat hangers above?

Washing machine available? What does that mean? The choice between mini fridge or washing machine? Preserve food or wear clean clothes, make your choice!

Pain causes pupils to dilate, so slip a thumb tack in your shoe, establish eye contact and lean on it. Boom, heightened pulse, dilated pupils. Also works to cheat the lie detector.

Doc Martens got sold and moved the production to Asia. The dip in quality is very noticeable.

The people who used to produce Doc Martens now work for the company called Solovair. I haven’t tried their stuff butt apparently they’re as good as Doc Martens used to be.

UK, London

Echolalia?

My friend uses three separate alarms because the smartphones let you do this. For her they are not just wake up alarms but also the key points of the morning- first one: you have 10 minutes to get out of bed. Second one: make the cuppa and get to the shower. Third one: now the work related messages and calls may start.

I don’t, mind filling me in?

Dorstone Ashed seems similar in UK, a fine choice indeed

https://youtu.be/5mQVljB7JGw?si=phV8TM7b9YHgBlBd always happy to hear the song and always just a little anxious to hear it because the actual calls always mean something serious.

I used to have cheerful tunes for ring tones but then all my old relatives died in a row like flies and “I don’t feel like dancing” felt really out of place. Beth Ditto has stuck with me since then.