Asked out of the classroom by a teacher because I was talking to a classmate. I don’t know why but that teacher didn’t like me one bit. She did more stupid stuff but don’t even remember right now.

Kicked out of Canada when I was in my early twenties.

Picture it. 1998. Niagara Falls (the Canadian side). I was visiting western New York with my gf at the time. She was driving and we had three of her friends in the car with us.

She was speeding so a local cop flashed his lights and pulled us over. He made her step out of the car. Then he came over, stuck his head through the driver’s side window and chastised us all:

“You know how fast she was goin’? One of you needs to be the designated smart guy and tell her to slow down.”

Then his eyes focused on me in the backseat.

Cop: “Where are you from?”

Me: “Georgia.”

Cop: “Yeah well you just need to get back to the border and get outta here. We don’t need your kind here.”

When I was a teen, I had a summer job at a laboratory. They had a BLAZING FAST T-1 connection. This was a big deal, that’s what hackers in movies dreamed about having access to.

So I took my gaming rig to workto play counterstrike one day. (it was always mostly deserted, and no one cared what the lab monkey did before noon when they all eventually showed up)

The latency was non existent. I felt like a god. I was banned from several servers that day becythey thought I was botting due to having an order of magnitude better ping than anyone I was playing against. I got paranoid and never took my machine to work again, but it was a fun day.

Reddit.

Some bar in Amsterdam. We were there for a Bachelor’s party/trip, it wasn’t even that late at night but two guys in our group were already drunk to the point of half falling asleep and kept dropping their drinks on the floor. The waitress warned us the second time and kicked us all out the third or fourth time it happened. When we all got outside, one of the two jerks had the nerve to ask “What happened? Did we just get kicked out? Why? Couldn’t they have at least warned us first?”

I got banned from the monkey section of the zoo because I kept tickling the feet of those little old man looking monkeys.

I was banned from Dave and Busters because the assholes in the booth next to us dumped two pitchers on the floor and the staff thought we were together.

Don’t know if I was ever banned but I was definitely asked to leave a go kart track when I was about 10 or 11. It was a kids track with only a few karts to choose from but they weren’t even as far as performance went. I had picked one that turned out to be slower than one another boy chose, so he kept lapping me as we were driving around. I’ve always been very competitive so I was just getting madder and madder as this smug little shit kept passing me even though I was pedal to the metal, so I made a decision. One lap as he was just about to pass me I wrenched my steering wheel to the side and ran him off the track. I was, of course, spotted by an attendant who stopped me and brought me over to my very embarrassed parents then asked us all to leave. I don’t think the other kid was hurt, but I didn’t care enough at the time to check so he might have been.

Canada, because I got a DUI in the USA 21 years ago. Yes I was a stupid kid and no I don’t do that anymore. But damn.

my mum told me, at my baptism, I put the candle under the pop’s cloth. he definitely took fire, and i like to believe i was banned from church 😎

Nope

Just remembered I got banned from Fark many years ago for posting this image (nsfw?) of a girl in a bodypainted soccer uniform without a NSFW tag. The reason was that unclothed nipples broke Fark’s rules. They didn’t buy my argument that in this case the bodypaint was as good as cloth. A mod explained that the NSFW tag was to keep people from getting fired while surfing Fark at work if their boss walked by and saw their screen. I argued that from that distance nobody could tell it wasn’t a uniform or a swimsuit, and the nipple standard didn’t achieve their purpose anyway, because an image with daring cleavage would be permissible even though a passing boss could easily recognize it from walking-by distance. At that point, rather than respond further they just made my temp ban permanent.

But the story had a happy ending! Somehow I found out about a new site called bannination.com, created by banned Farkers, using all-original code written by a guy named “grahams” in the UK. For a couple years I was an avid user of that site - which we affectionately called bN. The community was small - only a thousand or so members. Several people who met there actually got married. Then grahams finally got tired of running the server and shut it down. Apparently somebody got the domain name and it now points to something I can’t even take a guess at. Anyway for that brief time window bN was a super free place and we had a lot of fun.

Overwatch. T-bagging dead enemies

Got banned from Reddit for criticizing the current White House administration.

So Six Flags is apparently pretty ban happy. I’m not welcome in Magic Mountain anymore.

In my early twenties circa 2004 we borrowed my mom’s mini van, loaded up 8 of us and drove over night to get to Magic Mountain as they were opening. So it starts with the fact that before we started running around, I’d already been awake for 24 hours.

For whatever reason that day there was a large group that just kept cutting lines. “Excuse me, I’m trying to get up there to get my cousin off the ride.” But then they would group up and stay in line.

So big guy in front of me has some kids with him. My girlfriend and I had split away from our main group. Medium dude with wife and 2 kids behind me all loudly complaining to each other about it, I finally had enough and figured I’d have back up, so I grip the hand rail on each side and will not let go when the next few try to pull it again.

Cutter comes up with his wife or girlfriend and asks the same excuse, I refuse, he makes threats, anyone I thought was going to back me up suddenly examining their shoes. Dude swings at me and I easily duck it, but had to let go and he goes running ahead. My perceived back up offer excuses about not starting shit with their kids there, now with kids of my own I understand but back then I was really let down.

We get to where there’s finally a ride operator, the guy that threw at me is getting on the coaster, I point him out for cutting and swinging. Eventually I get on the coaster and as it’s going up I see him getting escorted away by security. When the ride ends security is waiting for me too.

“You’re out of here”

“Why, all I did was attempt to block a cutter?”

“He says you threw the first punch”

“Check the cameras“

“Doesn’t matter, policy says you’re both out and can’t come back”

So I get a tour behind the scenes to the parking lot. Girlfriend has to use the chicken exit to collect the group since this is prior to the time when everyone has a phone in their pocket. I get told they’ll let me wait in the car for my group but after that, don’t come back.

So yeah, I can’t go to Magic mountain anymore because cutters are also liars.