…and why is it often PAINFULLY slow to acknowledge an up/down vote or to open the reply dialog?
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It uses activity pub, a protocol that allows servers to share content. So when you post on an instance, it became available for other instances to consume your content.
About slowness, it can be that your instance it being rate limited, or it is not powerful enough to process all its users. You can try another instance.
Activity pub documentation: https://www.w3.org/TR/activitypub/
I have no idea how any of this works. Im just happy to be here.