he likes to larp in the words of a better man

That’s such a great description of this kind of tech-bro behaviour.

“Hey baby, are you a compelling new novel? Because I’d love to lose myself in your sheets. Like sheets of paper, you know, pages. I’m sorry, I’ll leave now.”

Oof. I got about 65% on the images I hadn’t seen in the post. I must be pretty close to being replaceable by an adversarial network.