https://thebestmotherfucking.website/

I have difficulty expressing myself around unfamiliar people. I would hang out with myself because I know myself very well. If I did not know the other me and she did not know me, then we’d probably both assume that the other thinks we’re trash and would not hang out. But if we did then we’d enjoy it.

Change posture every 30 minutes? I’m unlikely to last 30 seconds! I’m too groovy for that

I think that we should require more humanities courses for STEM degrees. I had to take some english courses but that was about it. Seems like a lot of STEM-lords (particularly the computer ones) need to take a cultural anthropology course and chill out a little. Or philosophy but that risks making them worse.

I feel that if people knew how much effort it takes to create their food products, they might be more hesitant to waste them. Even with things as simple as making bread! It’s not just something that appears on a shelf, it’s the result of whole process and should be valued as such.

Bionic Marge sort

Fog horn

No, wait, I’m not that old yet right?? Right???

Having the opportunity to buy cake whenever you want, having enough money to buy cake whenever you want, and choosing to not buy cake whenever you want.

Someone walks into a room and they have covid. Now the person beside them has covid. But it’s super-mega covid so they are immediately infectious. Then I’m sitting next to that person and now I have covid too. We’re all feeling bad now because one person had covid and now we all have covid.

I didn’t mean for Pyotr to be my roommate but it just kind of happened. He’s pretty chill though. My place used to be pretty messy but he cleans it while I sleep. He’s totally silent too so I don’t even wake up! Really the only downside is the anemia but I’m taking iron supplements now and that might help a bit.

Would you still love me if I was a mole?

I can hear this image and it hurts

Width. Most shoes are too narrow and pointy

My computer is old and slow so loading teams is like elder abuse

Carrots. Plain carrots. It helps that I’m too lazy to get anything to dip them in. They are just so convenient.

A group of humans need to pass through a doorway with two doors. The leading human opens one of the doors and passes through the doorway. The next human follows them through the open doorway, and so does the next, and the one after them. The humans bunch up around the one open door, funneling themselves through it rather than opening the other door right beside it.

Then I, the smartest and best of humans, make use of my divine and otherworldly gifts to open the other door that was right there the WHOLE TIME. Truly I am a gift upon the world. Someone should give me chocolates.

More fibre pleases the colon gods and makes my poops more better. Also keeps me feeling full for longer.

The moon not being made of cheese. The moon is in fact made of cheese. I do not care how much a bunch of nerds insist that it is not made of cheese. I am objectively correct about this and anyone who disagrees is wrong.