

As others have said, one’s view of Lemmy is highly dependent upon the instances and communities that one frequents. As someone who isn’t a habitué of politics, news, sport or meme communities, I’ve found my fellow lemmings to be pleasant, but I also believe that that is due to trying to be helpful and polite myself and being willing to apologize when warranted.
Tailscale is also ridiculously easy to use for this purpose. The serve and Funnel features make secure self hosting really easy from your tailnet (one can easily provision certificates for nodes using Let’s Encrypt from the CLI: https://tailscale.com/blog/reintroducing-serve-funnel