Crikey

The Big Apple:

You can’t tell me what to do

This is, at least, trying to solve an actual problem. It remains to be seen whether the solution is more cost effective (and durable) as bifocals. As a human of a certain age myself, I would welcome being able to see without having to tilt my head awkwardly.

But something tells me this tech is not self-contained, and requires an always-on connection to some cloud resource which is guzzling electricity and water. No thanks! Bifocals are cheaper.

For a C64 emulator, sure, but we can do better now.

Yes, this would be awesome, but for the love of all that is holy can it please not be BASIC?

I sold all of my Apple stock because they wanted to make a phone and I thought that would end poorly, so I should take my profits while I could.

What do you call it when Richard Nixon uses up the last of the toothpaste?

Col-gate

Whenever anyone says “meteorologist”, I hear “Meaty Urologist”, which is something different entirely

Ugh, that one didn’t land well

I did Nazi that coming

Honestly, I think the difference is how much software is in these things now. Everything is a computer. And software is something that is very cheap to do half-assed, but expensive to do well (and reliably).

TVs are a perfect example of this. The TV of 40 years ago had an analog tuner directly attached to a CRT. It did only one thing, and did it well. Today’s TVs are basically embedded computers with large screens. And the embedded software was probably written by the lowest bidder.

You can never keep a secret on a farm, the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears…

Reddit was one of the most human places on the Internet, until King Steven the Turd decided that it’s human interactions were a valuable resource that he could sell.

Now, it’s all just bots talking to bots to learn how to sound human.

Intentional Groaning penalty on the Offense, 10 yard penalty and Loss of Composure.

And that night he went and partied like it’s 1999

We’ll all have to go back to having sex with your wife

Why not just trade Alberta for Minnesota and be done with it?

That’s a bit of circular reasoning there

And I’m sure once the measles outbreak hits his school, he will blame it on biological antifa warfare