Mhmm. Still though!

Why did I have to read this as am lying in bed feeling peckish.

Disappointed these won’t be single 3ft sausage rolls though!

Knew someone who collected wwii militaria, including Nazi stuff. Claimed that some tiny shoulder or lapel badges were worth close to 6 figures.

Even if they were wildly exaggerating on value, it makes that stuff an easy way to move large amounts of money undetected.

Yeah, if the rest of the house weren’t so stagey I’d take the child’s room & rosettes at face value. It just feels like an attempt to sell an idea.

Spotted a second rocking horse, beyond the grey modular sofa which overlooks the steps down to the swimming pool.

Christmas stockings hung over the fireplace in the original hall. Pony club rosettes pinned above the window in the “child’s” bedroom.

More soulless than the unused boardroom of an SME based in a small industrial estate built in the late 1990s.

Spotlight hell, pseudo-idyllic Edwardian childhood signifiers, 20 shades of griege, an auditorium worth of chairs & sofas arrayed about the pool, bizarre proportions, including in the original house due to unnecessary removal of walls.

View of the distant trees from the glass extension in photos 12 & 13 marred by service station style landscaping in the near to mid-ground.

Sounds like less boozy Jägermeister (also made by monks) with added caffeine.

Had always assumed it would be fizzy.

Because though uPVC windows lack the myriad advantages of wood or stone frames, sometimes it is better for the ongoing fabric of a building to just get it weatherproof until someone comes along who can afford to put in more suitable replacements.

Then white uPVC frames are much cheaper than coloured versions.

Can’t speak for the baby blue.

As someone who ADORES bare chipboard, and glazed brick tiles, and whose favourite colour is green… I ought to love this, but jfc it is nightmarishly bad.

Who knew you’d find this level of hyper-chintz bordello in Acton?

Am impressed & not for the first time want to become a documentary maker just as an in to get to hang out with people I never knowingly encounter & to tell their story.

Just here hoping you live in a village called Spankslugs.

Even the agent is describing it as just a footprint.

Uh, not sure how else to describe when it is laid down in a garden (other than for drainage or whatever).

Expanse of gravel? Visible gravel?

Useful for drainage channels & such.

As a garden surface, it makes me angry. So ugly, so annoying, so depressing.

Oh no.

Hope you heal up quickly!

Don’t be hard on yourself though - we’re all aware of the hazard, but we all do it.

Managing with slightly warmed olive oil when mine itch, but still go in with an earbud from time to time.

And there was me thinking I was an only child!

Lights too bright?

Damn, had mistaken that for some bizarre moulded effect, inspired by seashells.

But it is just a peach beach towel with a ridged weave.

So disappointed.

Hey now, that pastely plush thing could be very comforting & then you can keep us abreast of your own decor journey.

Because if it seduces you you’ll have no choice but to reel all of us in as well.