Washington DC. Aside from the obvious, just trying to drive into DC makes you think that perhaps you could get off on a technicality or plead insanity.

Pictured: The moment everything went off the fucking rails. (2016, colorized)

The rash is real. I look like I’ve been in an industrial accident or something.

So I tried this and it was an experience of mixed emotions. Relief that my nose was no longer running mixed with an uneasy shiver of disgust as I felt everything draining down the back of my throat. Effective yet disturbing!

I’ve been thinking about that, actually. Just pop into the urgent care like, “Hey doc I just want to make sure my brains aren’t actually leaking from my nose, and if they are can we maybe not”.

I may have to go get one. The area around my nose looks like it’s been set on fire at this point and I have some reservations about leaving the house sporting my nose tampon.

Definitely been taking the good Sudafed.

Oh look at this guy with his fancy fridge that just gives away water!

They’re the only culture some people have.

At what amount of As does it indicate the battery is just screaming?

Food cannot touch on the plate. Each item must have a clearly defined DMZ between it and its neighbors.

Well they can always take solace in the fact that kitchen would be an interesting place to do mushrooms.

I saw this story yesterday and I just cannot fathom HOW. It’s kind of amazing.

I have one of those too. The cat only wants to play fetch when I want to go to bed, of course.

I used to work with this guy who swore the lyrics to Beast of Burden by The Rolling Stones were, “Don’t wanna be, your pizza’s burnin’”.

Alfadhirhaiti - Heilung It’s hypnotic.

I too was mad that there was no snow on the ground for Christmas this year. Then I got a blizzard warning on my phone so it might still work out ¯_(ツ)_/¯

To hell with Panda Express and those places. The best Chinese takeout has a number in the name.

Every single one of my kitchen cabinets is too high and I can only reach the bottom shelf. My kitchen tongs double as a grabby thing so I can reach stuff. I bought a rather large kitchen cart/portable island thing and that’s where the dishes live and it doubles as my cooking prep station since it’s slightly lower than my counters.

Legitimately my first thought when I read the headline.