This reads as a shitpost, but I’ll advise on the chance it isn’t and you’re in a crazy deadly situation.

Make a show of applying for remote Jobs ASAP, do it tomorrow. Dress up nice for the “E-meetings”, and then hop in discord or something with a friend and have an “Interview” that goes well.

Then, explain to your family that you need to submit documents to HR to complete onboarding. Get ALL your personal documents in hand, and then ride off into the sunset away from them.

I guess you were born in the 1950s, kids these days just don’t know…

Based <3

Thank you for the insight, might it be possible…

Just MAYBE…

That just this one person is dressing not normal for a joke?

The only thing any workingmam needs for any meal is a nice hot pasty.

Give me that and a drink or two, I shall die happy as my forebears before me.

My bet is he lost a bet, it’s so specific especially at the end

You have good first thoughts!

That is indeed the joke

Yeah! Someone with a social disability decided to make their very very creepy and detailed preferences plain for the world to see in exhaustive, almost parodillic detail,

Or: It’s a joke shirt

Incredibly based world, if it were so easy

Like, fuck damn, is it possible to go harder on a shirt?

The longer you read it, the more bizzarely specific and funnier it gets

Hilariously specific!

That must be a day for thought, like what is going in in that man’s head?

I hate those so much. Bougie and useless in my experience

Mfw AI is better at proving they’re a human than I am

STFU, Younger Gen BADD!!

Today on Is It Lemmy or 4chan:

V sad… Mebbe Neighbor Dave give advice?