At one point we had a remote office in a bank. One of my coworkers, W, had a pretty severe intestinal condition.

Anyway, I’m using the facilities, and one of the bankers comes in and heads to a stall. His phone rings while he’s in there, which he answers. It’s obviously a work call.

By this time, I’m heading over to wash my hands, just as W slams open the door with an panicked look. He violently shoulders open a stall, drops trousers, and unleashes just an absolutely unholy flume of waste, accompanied by a couple of mercy flushes.

“Uh, I’ll call you back”.

I’m assuming lessons were learned that day.

You totally need to make really loud hnnnnnng…splosh noises.

Does the person she is speaking with know where she is?

Loud grunting and farting noises intensify