volvoxvsmarla

I even remember the moment I heard. My husband came to me and our baby, we were playing on the bed, it was a Thursday. He asked if I had heard yet. I asked what, and he told me that Russia attacked Ukraine. It felt so surreal. It felt like being held at gunpoint to r*pe your sibling.

We don’t live in Russia or Ukraine, but we have close friends and relatives in both countries. For about a week I couldn’t concentrate on our daughter. My head was somewhere else which felt awful, but was also the first time I had allowed myself to think about something else and not give her 100% of my attention. We went to demonstrations (well who cares) and kept doom scrolling, which felt more urgent, more necessary to stay in touch with what is happening. We realized how we didn’t see the obvious for years. Which was very painful, since my husband was always interested in politics, also back when he lived in Russia, and got me into being more political myself. We were way too naive about it.

We kept asking our friends and family how they were, what they planned to do. Some fled immediately. Some a bit later. Most stayed. With time, the imminent feeling of threat and impending doom numbs down to low key anxiety. So many years down the drain. So many futures waisted. They stole their futures.

I remember I kept telling my daughter “one day we will tell you about a war between our countries that lasted for 1 day when you were a baby”. 2 days. 10 days. 30 days. I stopped counting at 100.

Now I just hope we will have time to go there. Will my grandparents be able to see their great granddaughter? Will she meet her grandpa in Russia? Will she ever be able to play with her cousins in rural Ukraine? I had planned to spend summers there, to get to know this side of my spouse’s family, and hoped she would get to learn some snippets of Ukrainian there. That’s how he knows the language. And now I just hope that his cousins will not die. The fat one lost about 2/3 of his body weight so far. I’m not surprised being in the military does this to you.

Damn I even remember the pigeons. That stupid pigeons. We had pigeon problems on the balcony and in March 2022 they built a nest and it had eggs in it. But the day prior they bombed an orphanage. Or a children’s hospital? Or a maternity ward? God these assholes bomb everything, don’t they. And I cried and we couldn’t do it, we couldn’t bring ourselves to remove the eggs. We had freaking pigeon babies with incredibly proud pigeon parents who were, btw, super progressive, crazy emancipated pigeons, both were looking for the eggs and babies equally. We gave them names when they hatched and watched them grow older. And then fuck nature, about two weeks before they would have left the nest, a fucking crow ate Hittin first, and poor Putler was so, so scared, and we tried to shelter him and even lifted the rule of no feeding no water, but then the next day, he was dead as well. The parents were devastated. We were devastated. We were powerless. We still are. We couldn’t protect them. We couldn’t make a change even when we tried. We were powerless.

The universe stood still, and then it started going with a different pace and in another direction than before.

Not sure where I am going with this, I think I’m just grateful someone else found this moment… Majorly significant.

I’m pretty sure there is enough research that supports the idea of paternity leave increasing parental involvement and connection with your child and leading to more gender equality/more balanced responsibilities in families.

My husband and I went the very conservative route with him being off for 2 months and me being off for 3 years (German classic). Let me tell you I would have not survived the newborn stage, having no help from outside, without him. At the same time, for him it was so hard - although I am not sure that work was easier, he after all still came home to a little baby. Parental leave doesn’t mean you get to chill, it means you have no excuse for not doing half of the night shift, half of everything except breast feeding. When he went back to work, he would do the night shifts on the weekends, and I would do all the night shifts on workdays.

Your co-workers are morons. They miss out on helping their baby mamas, connecting with their kids, and going through a unique experience. Even if your pay was much lower, it’s worth it. It’s hard and stressful and awful and it is the best thing you’ll ever do.

Damn we have similar goals but different reasons. I want to have been on all continents and I am obsessed with going to Antarctica. If I had the money, I would want to stand on the planet’s axis. And have the whole world actually revolve around me. Doing this on the North Pole too would be great, but it’s not a continent and therefore has second place.

And now, can you elaborate the weird stuff the sun does at the poles? Besides polar night and polar day?

I see Pluto and Charon as Irish twins. Or at least 2 under 2. I somehow always imagine two siblings spinning around each other. Maybe Pluto is showing a 🫶 to his little sister.

I gotta say the cybertruck one is so hilarious and desperate I’d spare it my rage

I cut ties with a friend my age (early to mid 30s) who grew up in Germany but had Ukrainian roots, and family in Ukraine next to the border. He also didn’t believe what “Western media” said and only what his family on the border is telling him and “they know who is bombing whom”. He has a Master’s degree in psychology. It completely fucked me up.

My parents also have friends living in Krim who were super happy about the takeover in 2014, and they are there, so they must know better, right?

And there is some truth to that: We are also not immune to propaganda and of course Western media has its biases. I am confident that we too are being fooled here and there. You can see this in a very one sided media coverage of Gaza in German news. Most Ukrainian refugees I’ve met do indeed just want the war to end and some openly don’t care whether their land will belong to Russia afterwards. They just want their relatives not to die. Zelensky is being heavily criticized and he is also not immune to corruption, while the internet thinks he is some god like hero with unquestionable integrity and balls of steel. He is also just a human and a politician. Ukraine is no moral safe haven and we have to remember that. My husband’s cousin should not have been drafted, but he was drafted right away, because obviously someone bought themselves out and the place had to be replaced. Not everyone wants to fight for their country, but some were forced to, still. His second cousin was only drafted a year later, although he should have been in the first or second wave.

That “evil NATO, nobody got jailed” theme of your parents sounds very much like what my family would say, all of it. And it is hard to counter and admittedly it was a narrative I believed until I went to Russia in 2016 for a semester, met people, saw the country, talked to locals, met my husband. My strongest tip for you is therefore - don’t get sucked into it. First and foremost be sure in what you believe in. Be sure that there are indeed people who oppose the regime and the war. Be sure they do exist. I know this sounds trivial, but sometimes it is easy to start questioning yourself when your own knowledge doesn’t come from local sources. After all, your parents probably have more ties to Russia and Russian media, so they have an “insight”, while you might actually really be manipulated by second hand Western media, right? …

I’ve been thinking a lot whether I can give you any resources on how to counter pro Putin or pro AfD arguments. I’ll start with the latter: Geld für die Welt is a youtube channel I stumbled across shortly before the election, and it has some great videos exposing illogical arguments (there is a great one about money as mentioned in my previous comment that I can link if you want).

As for Putin’s propaganda: I’m not sure I know many good first hand sources. Obviously Ekaterina Schulman’s podcast Status (статус) has great insights, and I recommend listening to her speech как это пережить that came out three years ago. It gives you some kind of comfort. OVD Info - which you can support via Global Giving btw, strongly recommend that - has stats and information on political imprisonments and therelike. Most information I get is actually from telegram channels, which I started following about a year ago. There are also groups of the Russian opposition (Idk where you live, but here in Leipzig there is a great one, and the chat often posts links to articles, videos and other resources). As someone who only recently got into Russian oppositional media and activities (and having limited reading/understanding abilities), I cherish these kinds of insights by people who are much more in touch with what is happening. Most have been political activists for years and many have fled from political persecution. Basically, I know I can trust their sources. Maybe it is worth asking for resources there. There is also Team Navalny in Germany and Demokratie-Ja. Medusa etc is also a classic news source.

But then again, I would not try to “debunk” or “show facts”, I don’t think this works well in general. It reminds me of a John Oliver episode - was it on UFOs, conspiracy theories, or vaccines? - where he has a great bit on how to talk to people who believe in such things without being condescending or just showing them “facts”. They are not dumb. They believe what they believe because of subconscious fears, experiences, manipulation. No one is immune to this and it is important to meet the people where they stand and with respect and understanding and an open ear.

Is “here” in the US? Or somewhere else in the West? I’m mostly asking because I could probably give more concrete tips if it were in Germany.

Have they ever met a refuge from Ukraine? Did they talk with them?

As for things like wind parks or climate policies or economics I think it is important to find a way to present that as “this is directly financially beneficial for you”. Here in Germany, let’s say, different independent financial institutions have calculated the total tax burden based on your income bracket if different parties were in power and went through with their plans. And lo and behold, of course FDP, CDU and AfD would have very much increased the tax burden on low to middle income people. Or they calculated that the great sounding plans of these parties would cost like 150 billion euros - which is an incredibly high sum - and explaining this away with “oh we’ll make the economy prosper” doesn’t work either (more calculations that are irrelevant if you’re not in Germany).

My honest tip is don’t make it about ideology. If you want to keep talking about politics, don’t talk about liberation. Don’t talk about foreigners, nazis, climate change, DEI or LGBTQ. Your best bet is money. And safety maybe. But as others have suggested - reconsider whether you even want to throw pearls at swine and try to convince them of something different.

And don’t forget that a lot of behavior is a reaction of fear. In the beginning of the war there was a great podcast episode of Екатерина Шульман where she tried to emphasize that in times of aggression, it is a very natural response of the psyche to align with the aggressor. Your parents neither want to see the country they came from, love and probably idealize (as we always do with our past, especially when we don’t fully beling somewhere new) as the Bad Guy, nor do they want to be scared - for their country, for their future, for their relatives, for you.

Also, I just want to say, my condolences, and I deal with similar stuff. My family is either apolitical or opportunistic, and the best case scenario is “well both sides are bad”. I’ve been scared to call my grandpa who has первый канал running 24/7 for a year after the war started, I can guess what side he is on. If you ever want to just vent about how awful and difficult it is, feel free to write me.

Funnily enough, the day before you posted this, I was reminded of Return To Oz (I was at the zoo and someone… Scared the crap out of me). That’s probably not exactly post apocalyptic or solarpunk, but definitely takes place after a societal collapse of Oz and has creepy weirdos on something like rollerblades. Just in case you want to expand - or dare I say, roll towards the horizon.

I’m… At a loss for words but I’ll screenshot this and put everything on my bucket list

I assumed it’s sinister for left turn but then I got confused why L was turning right (is L supposed to be for leave?)

Wasn’t there a movie with Heath Ledger about that?

Lol same, I always think oh crap an aneurysm is gonna pop now. First time I hear of this kind of headache.

I feel it helps imagining that you breathe into the picking area.

What did they do to you?!

The more pubes the less guyliner? Really?

That sounds like a nice cover version

Yeah because they are going to steal your most beloved jobs! Like cleaning and fast food cooking and everyone’s childhood career dream of being a toilet lady.

For real though, I could at least follow the logic if it were for high paying, competitive jobs. But these aren’t the migrants you are trying to keep out, in fact it is the one every country wants to get in. So why are the migrants the problem who are going to live in relative poverty, agreeing to wage theft, agreeing to horrible living conditions? The ones who won’t hardly have enough for a pension.

Also, there is nothing wrong with cleaning, fast food cooking, or toilet ladies. All the more power to them. It is a fucking disgrace that we regard certain unpleasant jobs (that will still need to be done) as low skill, low class, and award them with the lowest pay possible.

Out of interest, what do you mean with textured vegetable protein?

I am always amazed how everyone is so focused on billionaires only

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Your first sentence sounds like the Zeiss add on youtube that has been after me several times a day for months now